Balance

I have learned a hard fast lesson about balance. I thrive on bring balanced. Not super exciting, and not super depressing. I belong on the fine line right down the middle. This is probably true for everybody. But my balance requires flexibility and spontaneity. I had high hopes of being structured and strict this summer. Gotta whip these boys into shape!  They are going to learn and have fun doing it! Dang it! They are going to work and have fun doing it! Dang it!  Well come to find out, mom can't function like that. The fun is all out the back door when I am so stressed out about every item on the check off list. Forcing myself to live in an organized / structured world is like forcing an OCD person to live in a mess not knowing what is going to happen every minute. It just doesn't work.  My balance hangs on the concept of imbalance. Where I can choose which things so and which things stay. And just how important everything is or is not. For example: playing and having an exciting summer vs. learning to work and be responsible. This looks like an easy answer. Of course, it's more important to work and develop. But then the details of the activity come into play. Is it important to work at 9:00 am right when you get out of bed? No. They have 9 months out of the year that they are expected to perform in the morning, a little break is needed. I was trying so hard to force them to be responsible that I myself became a witch and found myself helpless and in a very dark place. As soon as I "let go" of the rigid ness of my plans, things became a lot more pretty around here. Kids were smiling, and laughing, and I didn't want to hide in a dark corner alone.  So now they do their reading when we can "squeeze it in" and if we forget, oh well. Better luck tomorrow. I am sure my maker would hold me more responsible for loving the kids i was blessed to raise, then the quality of our summer boot camp. Glad it's still June and I didn't ruin too much of our summer with boot camp. 

 That being said, Milo thrives on structure. It's a wonder the two of us got put together in the same house. Thats why the plan of happiness includes a mom and a dad. After 8 years together were finally learning to live under the same roof, looks like we've found our own balance ;)