Re-do the scene that was made at the lake yesterday. We were at the Daybreak lake (highly recommended) and it was time to go. I told Milo to go rinse off the sand so we could get dried off and it was time to go. All the other kids were all dried off, changed and walking themselves up to the car. Well, he went as deep into the lake as he could and he stayed there. So I walked out there and said "Milo, it's time to go" He just looked at me. So I said it again, "Milo come on, we're leaving, everybody is already in the car." "I can't hear you", he says with a smirk. YA RIGHT. So I started to count to 3 with my fingers in the air so there was no mistake as to what was going on. He smiled and crept deeper into the water. Part of me was worried that he would go too far and I wouldn't be able to find him if he drowned since it was so windy, and the other part of me was just ticked that he wasn't listening. So I shouted, "if you don't come, your grounded when we get home" Still nothing. So I said my voice getting angrier at this time "if you don't get over here now, you're grounded all day tomorrow too!" Still nothing. That's it....I hiked up my skirt and started marching out into the lake with all the fury of a mad mom. Grabbed him by the arm and drug him back to the shore put the towel on him, spanked him and sent him to the car. Well the problem with this whole scene is that I saw a mom practically do the same thing the day before and I was feeling so bad that she was losing it in front of all the other mom's. So I spent the rest of the night justifying to myself, that even my perfect/patient sister in laws probably lose it on occasion, and I hope they still let their kids play at my house after witnessing my public "freak out" caused by my 4 year old. Really.. how do you hold it together at a time like that? Count to 10? a mommy time out? No he should just listen and get out of the lake like all the other kids. Good thing he does that every time we leave somewhere, so I can have a re-do.
7 comments:
Don't be hard on yourself, EVERY mom has freak outs, if they don't they're not normal. It drives me more crazy to see parents who's kids aren't obeying and they do nothing about it and their kids get away with it.
I have to say that I'm a big believer in always sticking to your guns when it comes to disciplining children, even if it means losing your cool in front of other moms on occasion. Of course in a perfect world we would all be patient and have perfect kids, but the last time I checked we don't live in a perfect world.
We all lose it every now and then. And I'm so with Bryn - I'd rather a well behaved child than a kid who learns that testing adults is part of his job.
There's a whole big debate about spanking. My theory is - if you use it sparingly (rarely) and while you are in control of your emotions then it is effective. He probably learned a good lesson yesterday - Mom means what she says.
Milo is a good kid. Sorry you had to leave a fun day with a sour note. But, he still had a good day and he also learned not to mess with you. As for all the other mommies - let them judge. You are the one who is raising him.
Don't you just love that? I am sorry, never worry about losing it, we all have our moments!! I have noticed that you can't do anything in life without being judged my other Mommies. So do your thing and don't care what anyone else thinks, because you're a great Mom!
Oh I've so been there. The best is when we are at Ariels Grotto in California Adventure, suppossedly the happiest place on earth and Kenlie decided to dig in her heels and test her mom. She was teasing Afton, hitting her and taking her things. After warning her to stop I told her we would do timeout. She kept doing it, I'm sure thinking "yeah right!! I've so seen you be easy on me when other people are around." I pulled her aside quite forcefully and told her we don't act like that and she sat in timeout and cried while a million other parents looked at me like I was the biggest jerk in the world, my husband included. Would it have been fine if I didn't stick to my guns. Sure I'm sure Kenlie would have gotten tired of being a turkey and stopped on her own and I wouldn't have had to make her nor I feel like an idiot. But we both learned a valuable lesson that day. I learned that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, I kept my cool, stuck to my guns, timeout was over and she was an angel after that. Hopefully she learned that it doesn't matter what the situation is we still need to listen to our mom and she will follow through with what she says. My favorite saying I use on my kids is "Kenlie/Afton I love you, but I love you too much to let you act like that." and in timeout they go. Works amazingly well for Kenlie, still getting there with Afton. But I hear you on feeling bad. I still beat myself up for embarassing Kenlie that day. That's why I tell Jeff the only thing that makes a successful day for me is when I don't yell at my kids. Easier said than done though. You're an amazing mom and we are all learning everyday.
Hey you stuck to your guns, and Milo knows his mom can be fun and sweet, but not a push over. Kids have to learn. As long as you do feel like you have crossed a line, I don't think any other parent would either. You have a pretty good inner standard...man but I wish I could have seen Milo's face when you went storming in the water after him. Oh the fear in his eyes!
oh man, i totally have freak out moments. i say if your a mom and you don't have freak out moments than there is something wrong with you:)
I could picture you freaking out and it made me laugh =) Milo is showing a little rebellion already--ohh no! Don't feel bad I am pretty sure I would've done the same thing!
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